How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
