The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
