I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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