I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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