You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
