At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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