i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
