Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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