Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
