wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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