if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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