but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
