He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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