how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
