I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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