if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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