All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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