people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
