why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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