the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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