If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize