We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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