Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
