this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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