if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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