to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
