just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
