Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
