i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
