I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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