Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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