Me. At least after what I've been through.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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