these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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