so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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