You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
