I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
