We're like a lot better than the average bears
Too much gin, very little bucket
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
