the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
