A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
