Please, let me fuck your mom
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
