Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
