I puked a lego.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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