I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
