please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
