i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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