just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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