haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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