and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
