Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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