That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
