U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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