I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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