Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
