i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
