i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she told me i tasted like america
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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