suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize