no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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