they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
