oh god the rape fog is back!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My ass is underappreciated
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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