just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
