I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
