oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
