I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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