he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
