Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
