I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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