Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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