Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need to align my fucking chakras
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize