I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
